Hey guys! Welcome back to Sholarstyle. As you all know I am a first time mom to a little girl who I breastfed for 13 months. Breastfeeding weighs so heavily on my heart for multiple reasons. I shared in a post a while back how I truly believe that breastfeeding helped me beat postpartum depression. If you missed that post click here to read.
Although, I loved breastfeeding there has been something weighing heavily on my heart for a while now. As women we have always had body shamming and what not, but I find that this happens the most after a woman has given birth. I mean come on!!!!! A women’s body goes through so many changes while growing a human being. I mean seriously I felt like my body wasn’t even mine at one point. You can’t control anything while you are pregnant, and honestly it CAN be frustrating. Now, this isn’t standard for everyone. I know some people who feel the most themselves when pregnant. However, for me that wasn’t the case. Being a dancer I had always struggled with body image. Being in shape mattered. They way you looked mattered. The way costumes and uniforms fit mattered. It was all fun and games back then, but now since that has been instilled in me I find myself struggling with my new “MomBod”!
I had gained a little over 20 pounds when I was pregnant for Blakely, and I was reading blogs like crazy. I was so curious about what happens to your belly once the baby was out. (lol) I probably looked so crazy reading and google searching about that stuff, but I just wanted to know. I had to have a c-section and was knocked out during the process so when I woke up the first thing I did; you know after I starred at my child for a long period of time, was check out my stomach. I couldn’t believe how much it shrunk. The blogs I had read talked about looking 5 months pregnant afterwards, but that wasn’t the case for me. My stomach actually looked some what normal. I remember my Mom laughing when I told her I couldn’t believe how flat it had gotten over night lol. Again though, this isn’t the case for everyone. I am sure that some of those blogs that I read were true, but my body was different.That is my point for this post. I want to talk about being different, having different body shapes, going through different pregnancies, going through breastfeeding and not going through breastfeeding. All those things are DIFFERENT and will have different out comes for each individual person.
For me personally I lost my weight FAST! I was breastfeeding strictly off of the breast every chance I got, while also pumping twice a day to build up a freezer stash. I had gotten to the point that I was super tiny. Everyone would compliment how I looked after having Blakely, but to be honest I still didn’t feel like I had control. I mean I was eating pretty healthy foods, but I wasn’t working out. I mean the most I would do was take Blakely for a walk around the neighborhood. Not to mention your breast after seem like a foreign object. I mean they grew almost 4 cup sizes while I was breastfeeding. This was all things I was okay with lol. Then came the time to give up the breast feeding life. I truly felt in my heart that Blakely was ready and that I was ready. More Blakely than me, but I was okay with it. BUUUUTTTTTTTTTT no one talks about the changes once you stop! I am sure for some people their breast size doesn’t change much after breastfeeding, but not for me! I went from busting out of a DD to barley a B again. Not to mention um they definitely don’t look the same lol. That part I was okay with, I mean I can find a bra that lifts, but what came next was frustrating. The weight gain!!!!!! I mean I started gaining weight like it was nothing, the only thing I changed was the fact that I was breastfeeding. This was and still is hard on me. My body looks different AGAIN!
So my husband and I started talking, and we got to the point where we had to talk about what life was really about. I mean yes, if we look good we feel good. But as parents what did we want to get out of life??? If you are reading this think to yourself What is important to you as a parent. Not only do our bodies change after we become moms, but our priorities change as well. Yes, I do take some me time, or couple time to go to the gym every once in a while. But It is not very high on my priority list. If I don’t make it to the gym one day than that is okay!!!!!! Travis and I came to the conclusion that being present, and taking Blakely on a walk was way more important than going lift weights as soon as we get free time. Watching Blakely chug down a milk shake is way more fun than dropping her off at her grandparents to go run on a treadmill. I am not saying to dismiss your health physically and mentally, but what I am saying is don’t harp on it. Yes, eat those veggies, but also enjoy baking those cookies with your little one. Life is about balance. It is okay to feel insecure at times, but at those times remind yourself just what you accomplished! You housed a baby for 9 months!!!!! Breastfeeding moms you are and have SUPPLIED food for your child. Being a MOM is probably my favorite job I have ever had. OUR strength, dedication, and selflessness is something to be PROUD of.
I hope you guys enjoyed my story and my outlook on body image now that I am a mom. I do still have hard days, but for the most part I am proud of what I have done so far as a MOM. I hope you guys are too! Please feel free to share your stories with me. We are all DIFFERENT and our stories are DIFFERENT! AND THAT IS OKAY! Embrace it!